Little White Lies

Omissions are betrayals. I am a firm believer in this. Lying has never been my thing. Trust me, I've tried, but it's just not something I'm good at. I try to be upfront and honest at all times. I usually forget that not everyone acts the same way I do. While I do not expect everyone I interact with to be forthcoming and open, I do expect it of the people I care about.

You know what they say about assuming things...

Saying that I've had a lot on my mind the last few months would be a gross understatement. I clearly have more than I can handle which is proved by the sporadic crying and random sadness. If this was 8 months ago I'd be on my balcony with a pack of Camels and a bottle of white. I am happy to report that I haven't practiced that type of behavior in months.

I'm not a religious person but I'm having a huge crisis of faith. Faith in mankind that is. I understand that people tell little white lies to protect others, however, if you get caught its a mute point. I caught someone in a lie yesterday. A lie that may not be important to some, but to me it means everything. They were trying to protect me, but instead it makes me look at the bigger picture. Is this just one of many lies? Is this one bigger or smaller than the possible rest? I have no way of knowing, and after yesterday, I have no way of believing what you say anyway.

I agreed to come to Seattle because I wasn't the happiest in Chicago. Now I'm not the happiest here because I can't tell real from fake. I feel like I don't belong anywhere and it's a lonely place to be. Then again, why be scared of being alone? The people that hurt me are the people that "love me most."