Matters of the Heart

Anyone watch How I Met Your Mother last night? Bueller? Bueller? A show that can make me laugh even if I've seen the episode 100 times. Well, last night really pissed me off. *Spoiler Alert* There is a countdown throughout the entire episode but you have no idea what it's counting down to. When the numbers finally reach 1, we discover that Marshal's dad has abruptly died of a heart attack. My dad has cancer, not a heart problem. Nonetheless, my favorite show made my break down into tears. Hence the pissed off mood.

Mom called this morning at 7:30. My dad's Calcium levels are through the roof and without proper procedures- it will cause a heart attack. Isn't it ironic...don't ya think?

Every time my dad has gotten really really scary in the past it usually meant one thing- he was or needed to be in the hospital. Today is no exception. He gets angry, he screams, he gets furious and tells us he doesn't want us around. I think it's a pride thing. It never occurred to me that maybe in all those years he was scared. This time, I know for a fact, he's scared that the hospital will be his very own Hotel California. Not gonna lie, this is the first time we're scared of that too.

My dad used to yell at my mom for spending too much money when we didn't have it. The other day she was crying and told me she just wants him to get angry because it'd be like he was himself. She laughed when I told her today to be careful what she wishes for. Her laugh was followed by my dad yelling in the background about how he wanted to go home. (Yes, I realize we're a yelling family. What of it?)

Papa is coming home from Florida, but they still don't want me there yet. Not yet. What a horrible place to be. Not there. So I know that when that call does come through, it will be time to say goodbye. All because they don't want me there yet...