Anger

I don't think there are enough evil words to describe how furious I am. I want to kick someone in the stomach 50 times until they feel a fraction of what I'm feeling right now. I want to throw something and have it break into a thousand pieces that can never be put back together. I want to run as far away from this as I can. So far that I never existed.

I hate the doctors that dance around using big words without actually saying ANYTHING!

I hate the people closest to me who have no idea what I'm going through

I hate the 1 person I needed support from the most for not even attempting to know what I'm going through by reading this or even asking what exactly it is I feel

I hate the selfish people in this family who aren't focused on my dad but more so what everyone else can do for them instead

I hate insurance companies for not understanding their own services

I hate the suburbs because I'm stuck in this room feeling more alone than I can remember

I hate the holiday season and everyone being so fucking happy

I hate myself for discovering that I'm not as together as I had thought I was when I first got here.

I hate the world for doing this to my dad.